Stolen Innocence

A train ticket to New York City
the over used branded logo locale,
the city of opposing dreams,
of hypocrites and schemes,
swallowed me.

It started with a kiss,
a moonlight job where I get to know men
who rob the innocent of their pennies
to throw them at me
when I’m made up and miserable.

This city has calloused even my tears,
I’m built with a strength sharper than spears-

It’s not what I pictured when I moved here,
but this place is about survival.

The one way ticket on a fast track,
stole my innocence away.

But at night, when I’m all alone,
I stay awake,
holding onto the memory
of innocent days.

Cheers, to Growing up

Sippin’ wine from paper cups,
man, our parents fucked us up.

We can recall every scrape, every cut
but memories of when we were free,
evade us.

The free mind of a child can never be restored.
When you were a child,
you smiled more.

Sippin’ wine from paper cups,
wishing to escape.

Drink it down, light it up-
Cheers, to growing up.

Your Love Only Worked in Increments

Was that really me?
dark tear streaks streaming down my cheeks,
holding onto the tall red curtains by your door,
begging you not to leave (your own house)

My mouth made an ugly shape,
distorted, upside down,
god you made me so ugly- or did I do that?

You certainly didn’t want me to kick you,
punch you, pull your hair, tell you I hated you,
that I needed you-

You treated me
like a commodity
and I had fallen in love with someone
who only knew goodness in increments,

Someone who kissed like a man
who’d never been kissed before,
two lips moving like rosebuds blooming,
you were so good at the romance
all
the
way
through-

But your love only worked in increments.

You terrible rainstorm you,
provoking showers from my eyes-
one day you’d send electric currents down my spine,
the next you’d scare me away with that angry thundering voice,
those venomous green eyes.

They sure had me hypnotized,
the way you’d play with nature,
play with my hair, my body,
the way you held me whenever you could,
kissing me like my lips gave you something
your own breath couldn’t.

Deep down you were so soft,
so weak,
and I wanted so badly to help you.

You welcomed me wholeheartedly
made love so easy,
but your love only worked in increments,
and you were so goddamn flaky.

I don’t see now what I saw in you then,
I only saw parts of you at a time
and now I see the full picture.

I fell in love with
the love songs
the letters,
the tears we shared,
the fearless passion,
your pride,
your support and knowledge.

You were too free to be mine
or even your own.

You loved so good when you felt good,
but I could never give you enough.
The time always came when you had to disappear,
your mind and heart needing to be cleared,
of me.

In the end you’d never be happy,
for your love only worked in increments,
and when it was gone, so were you
leaving me,
broken.

Crying like a child, spewing venom at you because
I’m mean, mean, mean,
and the thought of sharing you I couldn’t bare,
and I truly thought, all your love notes
all that passion, were mine

and they were but,
only for increments at a time.

your love only worked in increments.

Venus Fly Trap

Touch her and she’ll bite.

She’s bright,
always listening,
blue eyes glistening.

She’s good at getting a grip on people,
with a tongue inside her pretty mouth that licks like a whip,
she’ll lash out whenever you’ve gotten too close,
surrender, before you suffer her blows.

You’ll tell her all your secrets
and she’ll clench down on your throat,
but to her you’re just dinner,
she’ll have no mercy on your soul.

To Society:

STOP selling us our deepest insecurities
on subway cars and hopeful mornings-

Perfection of the self
begins from within.

The steel rails that carry commuters
exposing the heart (through the eye) to
comparison, pain, a not-good-enough mindset,
are too frail to carry passengers far enough
to where it matters,
where they break,
where they hate themselves.

I’m tired of walking past advertisements
with my head
bowed
down.

The Seance of Senses

Brewing something until
it smells putrid or rich
and enticing-

The perfume released
will tell us good or bad.

We all have different ideas
of good and bad that we learn
through our senses.

conditioned since birth-
conflict errupts from
competing reactions to
senses

(Smell, Taste, Sound, Touch, Sight.)