Stolen Innocence

A train ticket to New York City
the over used branded logo locale,
the city of opposing dreams,
of hypocrites and schemes,
swallowed me.

It started with a kiss,
a moonlight job where I got to know men
who rob the innocent of their pennies
to throw them at me
when I’m made up and miserable.

This city has calloused even my tears,
I’m built with a strength sharper than spears –

It’s not what I pictured when I moved here,
but this place is about survival.

The one way ticket on a fast track,
stole my innocence away.

But at night, when I’m all alone,
I stay awake,
holding onto the memory
of innocent days.

Cheers, to Growing up

Sippin’ wine from paper cups,
man, our parents fucked us up.

We can recall every scrape, every cut
but memories of when we were free,
evade us.

The free mind of a child can never be restored.
When you were a child,
you smiled more.

Sippin’ wine from paper cups,
wishing to escape.

Drink it down, light it up-
Cheers, to growing up.

Venus Fly Trap

Touch her and she’ll bite.

She’s bright,
always listening,
blue eyes glistening.

She’s good at getting a grip on people,
with a tongue inside her pretty mouth that licks like a whip,
she’ll lash out whenever you’ve gotten too close,
surrender, before you suffer her blows.

You’ll tell her all your secrets
and she’ll clench down on your throat,
but to her you’re just dinner,
she’ll have no mercy on your soul.

To Society:

STOP selling people their deepest insecurities
on subway cars and hopeful mornings-

Perfection of the self
begins within.

The steel rails that carry commuters
exposing the heart (through the eye) to
comparison, pain, a not-good-enough mindset,
are too frail to carry passengers far enough
to where it matters,
where they break,
where they hate themselves.

I’m tired of walking past advertisements
with my head
bowed
down.

6:12 AM “Don’t go anywhere”

The hairs on your head gleam silver,
sticking up beneath the nape of your ear
where an inch of skin shows.

My eyelashes beat agains the pillow like a drum
a measure of time
a universal ticking we could not control
even before the clock, became
the clock.

Sometimes we are afraid of losing each other
but then I wake up at 6:12 AM
when the sky is still a dusky blue
and the trees sway all lazy
and the sun is not yet spilling yolky sweaty stains
through our clothing.

Then I turn and listen to the cars affect the vibrations of the bed
and your breaths go in and out all heavy and definite like your opinions.

Then I see your hand lay still against your chest like a promise of the heart
to remain good and honest to yourself.

When you are vulnerable, I trust you,
and in your sleep you tangle your toes with mine,
as if to say,

“I’m not going anywhere.”

True to You

You asked me to come over so many times
And when I was weak I decided to.

 
We came from different worlds-
And I knew it would never work
Because your expensive lampshade
Made me too uncomfortable
And every aspect of you
Seemed to exist for external confirmation.

 
I showed up at your door
With sleep crusting in my eyes,
And skin peeling from my lips,
And sweat sprouting from my pores-
And you had ironed every cloth you wore
To perfection.

 
Puzzled by my disheveled state,
But wanting to be great and succeed
At anything and everything
(even me)

You tried to understand,
And your composure was convincing
But for the first time
you lacked something vital-
Something vulnerable,
Something true to yourself.